I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Come on in and take your pants off
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