I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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