I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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