So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize