yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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