Is it because I queefed?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
