I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
