it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
