guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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