so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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