All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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