I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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