Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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