I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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