Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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