I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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