tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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