so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
