you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
