i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
