Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize