Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just forgot I was standing up.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize