Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
