Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
