Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
is that a dick in a sweater?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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