I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
