I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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