i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
