Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
