I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
