it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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