Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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