The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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