she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize