So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
