Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
