Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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