I accidentally burped into my bong.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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