There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
