i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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