What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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