508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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