Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's the barista slut.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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