you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
