This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize