you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
