the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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