My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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