i just had sex bonerless
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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