my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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