so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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