Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
