I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
