check it out our google latitudes are spooning
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
