i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
