quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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